The Unspoken Rules of Adulthood: From an Almost Adult

I turned 18 a few days ago. For the past couple weeks, I have had a good handful of healthy realizations; some that I believe everyone should try to learn as they turn into an adult. 
Some of these could be more obvious to you, and some may feel like a harsh truth that no one likes to pay any attention to. Nonetheless, this is my list of things I believe an 18 year old should go into life knowing; similar to a list of the things no one tells you when you become an adult. 

(P.S. I wrote this prior to turning 18 by about a week or so).

1. Take Care Of You First.

Everyone is out for themselves, and it's not because people don't care, they do, it just won't seem like it all the time. But there is a rule of adulthood that you should take care of yourself first so you can take care of others. If you've ever been on an airplane then you know what the staff always tell you about using oxygen masks in case of an emergency. Put your mask on first, so you can help someone put theirs on should they need the help, whether they are elderly, juvenile, or grown. 

Simply put, learn to put your needs first and then everyone else'. It's not being selfish, it's being smart and healthy with yourself.

2. Set Your Boundaries & Make Your Noise

If you don't want to talk to people past 8:00pm, if you don't want to interact with certain people, if you don't want to argue, if you want to take a break from something, if you feel uncomfortable about something; it is your job to advocate for yourself. 

As you get older it becomes more and more of your job to speak on your own behalf. People can't read each others' minds, so don't expect someone to know what you're thinking. Keeping your boundaries and learning to make some noise, when appropriate, is important. 

3. Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company

The most time you'll ever spend is with yourself; so you might as well learn to enjoy it. Whether you're a social personality or not, it is human nature that people rely on people, and history says it is how we have survived so long. However this doesn't guarantee that someone will always be there when you need them.  

Part of life is practicing being there for yourself; helping yourself up when you fall, when you lose motivation, when you feel like you're in the worst rut you'll ever be in. The same goes for all the good things, be your own best friend and treat yourself to things you enjoy, do things that you like. 

This doesn't mean be alone, this doesn't mean don't have friends, this doesn't mean don't interact with people all together. Do all of those things, have friends, spend time with those people, have people you trust. My point is do not be surprised if someone isn't there for you when you need them. 

4. SLEEP (for your sake)

Lack of sleep causes so many things to go wrong. I know it, you know it, we all know it, so get some proper sleep. Not easier said than done, but doable.

5. Being Yourself Is The Best Medicine.

Whether you know yourself best or are still learning who you are, doing what you love, going to the places you love, watching the shows you want: it is all an expression of you. It may turn some people away but it will also turn the right people to you, so keep doing you and you will attract the right people and find your tribe.

There is more but maybe I'll let you figure out the rest... 

The Red Theory

The color RED...

she is intoxicating, she is mesmerizing, and she is the moment! 

So iconic that she has her own theory; but why does it work so well? 

I think we can all agree that when someone wears Red, their attracting eyes of all kinds. Whether those eyes are reading sensuality, vibrancy, or passion, they're still automatically drawn to the color. Maybe it's because the color Red is familiar, like blood or flesh. Or it could be that we just associate Red with a plethora of wonderful and terrible things. Love: Heartbreak, Life: Death, etc.

For example in India, Red often symbolizes love, strength, purity, commitment, and bravery, and is often related to the Goddess Durga for strength and bravery. Red represents good luck, fortune, danger, prosperity, destruction, long life, mourning, honor, love; the list goes on.  

My point being that Red means a lot of things to everyone. So you can't really tell what someone's thinking when they are observing the color Red. There are many possibilities, and that is why the Red theory works. Because of Red's endless meaning.

Interesting, right?

Perfume Bucketlist

A list of Fragrances I want to smell this year (2023)

This is quite literally what it looks like. A bucket list of Perfumes I want to experience/smell!! 
I will continue to add to this list as the year goes on. But I will come back and edit this list once I can cross one off, and I'll add a little description of my opinion.

Format: Brand - Fragrance Name

PHLUR - Lost Cause 

PHLUR - Missing Person

Juliette Has A Gun - Not A Perfume

PHLUR - Apricot Privée 

PHLUR - Phloria

Commodity - Rain

KAYALI - Deja Vu White Flower

KAYALI - Sweet Diamond Pink Pepper

Dior - Poison (dark red body and light yellow/cream translucent cap)

Juliette Has A Gun - MMMM...

World of Chris Collins - Long Kiss Goodnight

Aerin - Ikat Jasmine

Floral Street - Black Lotus

Tom Ford - Cafe Rose

To Be Continued...

My Love: The Rain

"pitter patter pitter patter"
- sings the rain that falls around me

Few things remind me of the rain; being in it, hearing it, seeing it, anything to do with rain. Sometimes it's a perfectly clouded gray sky, a perfume that smells of crisp freshly fallen rain, the feeling of a damp breeze enveloping you as you step outside, etc.

For me, the most peaceful thought, is sitting on the edge of a dock at a lakeside cabin. Wearing a loose button down shirt two sizes too big, my hair messily dancing with each of its strands in the damp breeze, the sight of the calm motionless water stretched across the horizon. Not long after I'm sitting on the dock by myself, my lover comes out of the cabin to join me. From behind I'm greeted by his arm reaching around to hand me a cup of coffee, because he makes it better and we both know it. Followed by that a kiss, sweet and warm. We'll both sit there at the edge of the dock, feeling like we never want that moment to end.

That is my happy place.

This is the place I go to in my head when I need a reminder of what I want out of my life, when I need to calm down and think of what brings me peace. 

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My best friend invited me to go to her cabin with her last summer. One of the best places I've ever been. Core memories were made on that trip and I will never forget the peace I felt on that dock. Gray sky, calm waters, the cool breeze surrounding me as I dip my feet into the cold lake; watching that one movement ripple throughout, softly into a bigger and bigger circle.

Fascinated by Fragrance

If I were a perfume...

My top notes would be: Lotus, Bergamont
My heart notes would be: Jasmine, Cardamom
My base notes would be: White Amber, Ylang ylang

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    I was 9 years old, when I learned about how aromatic compounds are layered to create a pleasant experience as fragrances fade. My mother had a cabinet filled with small glass bottles and viles, each one labeled, and some in a little plastic baggy. Few of the glass bottles were made of a darker tinted glass to better protect the essence of that fragrance. My mother dabbled in the fascinating World of Fragrance, and taught me what she knew. I remember when my mother and I made a lotion with our very own custom concoction; we even made a colorful label as if we were creating a product to sell. 

    I never knew this experience with my mother would give me the great interest that I have in Fragrance now. I love going into places like Ulta, Sephora, or Macy's and smelling perfumes. It could be to find a new perfume for the season or just to deconstruct the perfume with my nose. But be warned, doing either is just as fun!

    Next time you are shopping for perfume or anything of the sort, try and pick it apart with your nose. Even if you can only narrow it down to something simple like vanilla, lemon, or rose. 

Your nose knows more than you think...